


Don't Say it

by rosalynbair



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 19:58:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11835969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosalynbair/pseuds/rosalynbair
Summary: Reader loves Hux, but he doesn’t want to hear it.





	Don't Say it

“Officer” A strong voice rang, it was always commanding, harsh, yet it never rose above a specific octave. He never raised his voice.  
You turned, facing the red haired man, his hands folded behind his back. A grim line where his lips were.  
“Yes General?” You say, nodding to him.   
“I expect that you will be joining me for dinner tonight?” Hux asks, of course, he never had to ask. You spent dinner together most nights, unless of course, you were swamped with work.  
“You expect right” You tell him, giving him a small smile.   
He nods, wanting to kiss your cheek, but he knew it would be wildly inappropriate. He turns away, returning to his post on the bridge, watching over the room.   
You work quietly on the files you oversaw. At one point, you picked up a file and your data pad, leaving the room quietly going to drop the file off to another general from a different sector. When you returned, Hux was leafing through your work, reading your notes and changes to some of the drafts he had given you.  
“General” You say, standing beside him “Is everything alright?”  
“Yes, I am simply observing” He replies, glancing over to you. He thought you were beautiful. You were perfect in every way for him. You matched him in intelligence, wit, political views, and even temper. You both fought and argued, but you loved him fiercely. He matched your feelings, but he had been so emotionally traumatized when he was growing up, that he didn’t know what love felt like.   
You knew when you first kissed him, that you’d fall in love with him. He was everything you had ever wanted in a partner. He was your equal in so many ways. He was everything to you, you worshiped him when you were in his private rooms. You ate dinner and spoke of politics and the upcoming events planned for the First Order. You’d sit with each other and read together or work on files that needed to be done. Often, you’d make love before going to bed. You were always gone first, since your own things were in your own small bedroom. You never left anything of yours in Hux’s room, it was too personal. You very rarely ever stayed the entire night, too many people called upon Hux in the morning, you didn’t want to be caught there.  
When you had finished your duties for the day, you packed up your files, placing them away in a neat manner, grabbing the few that you needed to spend more time on. You shut down your station, leaving quietly to your room, which you shared with three others. Two boys and a girl. Hux loathed the arrangement, but he had no control over worker’s sleeping quarters.  
You punched in your code at your bedroom, the door opening with a loud hiss. You set the files on your small cot, going and stripping from your jumpsuit, grabbing a pair of casual pants and a tank top and sweater. You brushed out your hair, pinning it away from your face. You quickly slipped on your flats, grabbing the files and starting the journey to Hux’s living quarters.   
It was a long walk. All Generals and superiors had large living quarters on the opposite end of the ship as the workers. It often took you a good thirty minutes to get there…If you were speed walking.   
You weren’t this time, walking casually and stopping to speak to one of your friends from the engineering sector, rolling your eyes as he told you of Ren’s most recent tantrum that destroyed half the control panels in the Command Shuttle.   
Overall, it took an hour to reach Hux’s door. You raised your hand, your heart fluttering as you placed a gentle knock on his door. Every time you showed up to Hux’s quarters, it always felt like the first time.   
You were holding the files close to your body when Hux opened the door, inviting you in politely. You nod, looking around the hall before stepping in. It wasn’t until the door was closed once more that you relaxed your shoulders, moving and setting the manila folders onto the small coffee table in front of the uncomfortable grey couch.   
“I ordered us dinner” Hux said quietly, there was something hidden in his voice that made you turn around.   
You took in your lover, he had removed the gel from his hair, leaving it looking soft and slightly tousled, he wore black lounging pants and a black tshirt with a dark grey cardigan over top, buttoned up to the second button, leaving his pale neck exposed. His face was slightly pink from washing it with cold water and the moisturizer he used twice a day. His feet were bare, you often hated feet. But damn this beautiful man, even his feet were attractive.  
“You’re staring dearest” He says, walking to the table and pulling out a chair for you, a silent invitation to come over and sit down.  
You walk over, standing beside him and placing a gentle kiss to his jaw line -also known as the only thing you could reach on him without him leaning down. You take a seat, watching his confident and steady movements as he walked to his own chair, sitting down almost silently, removing the covers from the food.  
“I ordered fish from your home planet, I recalled you saying that you missed alcohol fish” He says, lifting up his fork and knife.  
“Ale battered fish” You correct him with a smile. “Thank you Hux”  
“Anything for you” He says quietly, searching your face.   
He had noticed subtle changes in you in the last few months, you seemed excited to see him, your cheeks turned rosy every time he was within a certain proximity of you. He knew it wasn’t because you were aroused, that rosiness often crept up your neck to your cheeks, this blush spread from the bridge of your cute little nose out to where your cheekbones met your hairline. He noticed you shifting closer every time he spoke to you, it was always subtle, most didn’t notice your modest distance turning into a closeness only lovers shared. He noticed how you stared at him for a lengthy time, as if you were seeing him for the first time every day. He saw your eyes soften each time he came into your field of vision. He noticed you staying longer at night, and he noticed your gentleness towards him. Only the stars knew how much you two had disliked each other at first, that hadn’t changed until he was locked in a small, unused office with you due to the punch pad being faulty. You had ended up bickering with each other before he had advanced towards you.   
He didn’t have personal experience with the emotion you were showing him. He had been emotionally neglected all throughout his upbringing, leaving him almost emotionless save for his anger and bitterness. He had no time for any tenderness towards anyone when he was still a general.   
“Hux?” You ask, “Are you listening?”  
He blinks, not realizing that you had been talking.  
“Apologies dearest, I seem to have had my mind blank on me” He says, looking up from his picked apart food.   
“Please eat, you didn’t eat last night” You say, cutting up the last piece of your fish, concern showing on your features.  
“Yes, I was busy last night” He chuckled, remembering you squirming beneath his hot breath and feather light fingers.   
You flush, the redness raising up your neck as you look down, scooping up some rice and fish, sticking it in your mouth.   
You finish your dinner quietly, picking up the dishes and setting them on the tray, putting them beside the door in the hallway before returning to the room, seeing Hux resting on the stiff couch, legs crossed at the knee as he flipped through the files you brought to work on.   
You trek over, curling up on the couch, leaning against the slender man.  
“It’s the report on ordering new parts for the Command Shuttle that Ren destroyed this morning” You tell him, you could hear his mental groan.   
“That blasted man will be the death of my collected calm” Hux grumbles, turning his head as you started to pepper kisses along his cheek and jaw, resting his eyes as he captured your lips.  
He felt you smile against his lips, taking the file from his hand and setting it on the table haphazardly. His hands move to your hips, trailing down to your thighs as he transferred you onto his lap, you bum resting on his thighs, just above his knees.   
“I’ll never tire of your lips” He whispered, nuzzling your cheek with his perfectly straight nose. He smiles as he hears your little giggle.  
You lean in again, pecking his lips softly before moving down and kissing his neck, nipping right where his neck met his shoulder. You felt him lurch slightly.  
“You’re tense Hux” You whisper, feeling how tight his shoulders were “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep yourself held so stiffly”  
“I’m the general” He responds.  
“I know what position you hold” You mutter “If you recall, you refused to let me call you anything but General for months when we became lovers”  
“I believed this to be temporary” He responds, letting out a groan when you dug your fingers into his shoulder.  
You roll your eyes “Temporary my ass. No one fucks someone like you fucked me for it to only be temporary”  
“Hush” He sighs, arching his back, leaning towards you ass you rubbed his shoulders, watching them slowly slouch.   
You smile, kissing his cheek as you massaged his shoulders roughly, examining his small muscle movements as he slowly relaxed.  
“There we go” You whisper, his eyes closing at your touch, his lips parting slightly.  
You were ecstatic to know that you were the only one who had ever seen, and ever will see this part of Armitage Hux, the beautiful broken man. You adored him. You loved him.  
“Come to bed” He whispered, feeling your arms wrap around his shoulders, his hands hold your thighs, standing up swiftly. He was a thin man, but he was much stronger and more athletic than he looked.  
You rest your head on your arm, letting out a small yawn, letting him set you gently on the bed.  
He watched as you crawled to the right side, shimmying under the silk sheets, eyeing him as he flipped the sheets back and climbing in, settling in before wrapping and arm around you.  
“Hux?” You whispered, eyes closed.  
“Yes?” He replied, kissing the nape of your neck, pushing your hair away so he could nuzzle your shoulder.  
“I have something I need to tell you”  
“What is its nature?”  
“Emotions”   
He stiffens against you, his arm tightening around your waist.  
“Hux… I – I lo-“ You start.  
“Please don’t say that you love me” He begs, pain seeping through his words.  
“But Hux, I-“ You start, only for him to interrupt you again.  
“No, I am asking you as your General, not your lover, to not say that you love me” He says, his voice clear in the silent room.   
“But –“   
“No, Y/N” He snaps “Do not say it.”  
You fall into silence, shuffling away from his body that was curled around you, You huddle on your side of the bed, away from him. Your hip brushed the edge of the bed.   
There was nothing but the sound of your breathing for what seemed like hours. Hux had shifted to his vampire-like position on his back. You had assumed he had fallen asleep, so you slip from under the blanket, walking to the table and grabbing the files, leaving your shoes on the floor as you left the room, the door closing with a hiss and a thud. You walked silent back to your room, shaking your head as your breath hitched, a tear leaving the corner of your eye as you tried to hold back the sobs that wanted to wrack your body.


End file.
